I'm so sorry you're struggling, Cold Soul It's definitely not your fault. Please don't give up. Depression sucks. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I'm glad that you're here and that you're reaching out to us. That means that you do want to get better! Be proud of yourself for that. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that they can get better. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. I hope you'll feel better soon. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this