Quote:
Originally Posted by Betrayed92
I'm not sure if I could ever be friends with her. Lately my ex husbands girlfriend has been try to be my friend but I'm not sure if I could ever be friends with her because 1. There is apart of me that still holds it against her that she was part of the reason that my marriage ended, and 2. I don't feel like I can trust her because of that. I'm trying to decide if I should tell her that I don't want to be friends but I do want to be civil with her, or if I should try harder to get over my negative feelings over her so I can have her as a friend. I could really use any advice that anyone can give me.
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why would you even concern yourself with befriending an ex's girlfriend? I might be missing something here but you're exes because of a difference of any number of things, like lifestyle, behavior and most likely choice of friends. I don't see it being anything that is necessary, let alone really beneficial to your situation now.
In the case that you have children with the ex, being involved to the point of sharing parenting is one thing but even then civil is about the extent of the need. Being friends with an ex isn't necessarily bad but isn't something that has to happen in most cases, if there are not children at all in the situation. If there are reasons you have to be involved in your ex's life, then really being appropriately civil is about as much as one could expect you to be especially involving the woman that had something to do with the demise of your past marriage.
YOU do not need to get over anything related to your feelings in order to benefit this girlfriend of his. Sure getting past resentment is good for you but the motivator should be for your own growth and not about being friends with her.
Find your own friends, please move on and be independent of these people and move on.