I like being old. I used to worry about stupid things - my bum is too big, I don't know how to do that, can they see my greying hair, am I good enough, what does that person think? Then some of my friends got sick, and I realised that life is precious. Emotionally I seem to be less scared of being overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed and then cope. Sometimes I wake up terrified but now I accept that as part of who I am.
Also I worked damn hard damn long hours all my life. I expected to do that, and it was interesting work BUT there was such a tension between self-care and doing my job. Early mornings = 7 am start after insomnia - back home 7 pm, will I sleep tonight? Getting enough sleep or taking time off with flu was a nightmare.
Knowing that I only have a few more years releases me from so many silly preoccupations.