Thread: Hallucentations
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Old Feb 19, 2019, 07:02 PM
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Under*Over Under*Over is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
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I tend to hallucinate when Im the most comfortable- imagine that hah. So if Im resting or reading or in a quiet room for too long. I actually almost prefer when it is louder because then everything just sorta- mixes together and becomes ambient noise.

I CAN generally tell which voices are real and which arent. Well. Maybe not totally- but there are clues. Like everything sounds like it has a very slight echo. And they tend to have... odder qualities when they are intelligible. Like- the voices will sound slightly distorted in SOME way- either too high pitched or too gruff or too deep. They sound like... the outer part of the spectrum of what human voices sound like when they are intelligible. Plus they tend to say odd things. Plus- hah- oftentimes they happen when Im alone- which is another big clue!

When they arent intelligible its a bit harder because it just sounds like a bunch of people talking in another room/on tv/at a bar- I have to decide then whether or not to check. I have been avoiding checking lately because its always kind of depressing to check and find out that... yep... its a hallucination. Always a bit of a bummer because I always hope that maybe this time it WILL be a tv- although 90% of the time about its yeah... in my head. So Ive mostly stopped checking.

Sometimes I have voices that arent voices too. They are like thoughts that are in my head that just- arent mine. They come and deliver me messages occasionally. I dont like that because... when these “voices” come they always sound really really convincing. They sound like they are speaking some sort of absolute universal truth and generally just carry a level of importance that everything else does NOT. Ive been trying to ignore those too. They dont come frequently which is pretty great. I dont know if Id be able to handle if they came frequently. I feel like these things are the things Im most likely to believe.

Visual stuff happens too- though I havent had any visual things for about 2 weeks- which is great. Its better. Visual stuff is usually very effing bizarre. I get all sorts of things. They usually happen when Im alone and because they are so odd they are usually pretty easy to dismiss. Its unlikely to have say... I dunno... dont want to get too specific with these because it makes me a little paranoid. But. When there is a literal elephant in the room (or whatever) its really actually pretty easy to dismiss and then ignore until it goes away.

Those are my hallucinations. My experience. And honestly. Sometimes I DO wonder if... maybe it was all in my head but NOT in a mental illness way? That maybe the voices were like... I dunno. Just. Well. I KNOW there isnt much else they can be. That when a monster voice starts talking to me and threatening me in some way- thats not something thats very subjective. Thats objectively me hallucinating.

So I get that. My hallucinations can range from “might have just been the wind” too DEFINITIVELY NOT. Both frustrating in their own ways. The former are frustrating though because sometimes you wonder if... you are just making it up? Im almost kinda glad that Ive had ones that ARE very obviously hallucinations because I have enough self doubt as it is and I can always bring up the memory of one of those and think- yes- you are sick continue to take your medication even if you still cant get yourself to fully believe yourself- what else COULD that “insert weird/out of place thing” have been? Its a hallucination. End of story.

(Ps- I have actually never hallucinated an elephant- that was just my example and me exploiting a well known saying)

Anyways. I would seriously consider telling your doctor about these things. Mine started very infrequently and then got worse. Im not trying to scare you but its best to catch these things- if it does end up being a thing for you- early. It will help it probably cause you less distress to just talk about it and figure out what they are- its good for things to have a name sometimes. A reason.

In any case. That got long. I hope you figure things out! Good luck to you.

Oh also. I dont have anything besides visual and auditory hallucinations. Not that Ive noticed at least. I dont tend to pay THAT much attention to my body but if Ive had anything tactile Ive not recognized it. I do occasionally smell weird things though. Should bring that up perhaps with my doctor next time I see them. I always just sorta pushed that off as some sort of “quirk/just one of those things that happens” but maybe, considering I do hallucinate at times, maybe I should mention it.
Thanks for this!
sunnyvibes