Maybe you could ask your therapist or psychologist about some books that might help you understand your inner self better. I ask my psychologist for books every time im there and every time he's given me a new book to read to discuss next time. It's really efficient too, because, by the time I see him again I then get to have an exchange about what I learned in the books recommended at the prior appointment. I can't imagine having these issues because I'm CIS He/him brought up in a patriarchy. I don't know much about sex and gender issues myself.