I have never experienced this, Bipolarchic14, so unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice to give to you. Just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and that I care about you. I hope you'll be able to find what you're looking for. It seems like he/she may be really helpful to you. It's good that you're trying to find a career for yourself! Be proud of yourself for that. Just try to find something that you like doing and that you're good at. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you