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Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I remember your other thread about this. Its so hard with our children. Do you know the basic story about my daughter? If you dont-short version. She turned 18 last feb, ran away in march, got involved with drugs and alcohol. Showed up. Went inpatient-rehab-halfway house-now recovery house (second one).She stayed here for 2 weeks in between houses and I came to realize I can not live with her- probably ever again. I had to make that clear. And I do not think she wants to live here-not really. It makes me feel like a cold mother to not want her to live here. I thought I would die when she left- I cried for a month straight but came to a place of acceptance. Honestly I think she checked out of our family long before she ran away I just didnt see it. Boundaries are tough but I assure you-once you get over the hurdle of laying them down AND maintaining them things get much better. Your situation is different than mine because you have an adult married daughter. She may very well hold her child over your head and I urge you not to take the bait. It will be hard but its her doing and if she can control you that way, her taking advantage of you will never end. When you talk to her maybe throw in there the hostility her husband has towards you. Its beyond disrespectful.
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I do remember your story. A few weeks ago I posted my own on one of your threads in response to what you’re going through with your daughter. Mine did the exact same thing as your daughter. Left home at 17 and never finished high school. Did drugs for a few years before finally getting a job. Has always blamed me for her financial situation because I haven’t bailed her out. I tried several times to help but she wouldn’t match my effort and I refused to just pay her way while she partied. So here we are. And you’re right. While I did set the boundaries financially and refused to support her all these years... I have done a terrible job setting boundaries with how she treats me because inside I am wracked with guilt over it all. If I don’t get my head straight with all this not only will she and her H continue to treat me like a door mat but the baby will grow up to do the same.