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Originally Posted by luvyrself
Assertiveness classes are in fact exactly for this purpose in that they teach how to stand up for yourself without being so aggressive that you work against yourself. I think its a matter of phrasing things tactfully. We might imagine that a whole audience is listening, which it is.
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Although this may have been intended as helpful information, it is not. I learned about assertiveness training maybe -- could it have been 40 years ago? Yes, at least -- it was new then.
Assertiveness training, as it was at the time, was
behavioral training. It had nothing to do with, nothing to say about, what if there was a loss or fragmentation of an underlying sense of self, or something like that, if anybody even believes that something like that can exist. It's taken me years and years since then to try to address -- try to even find out -- things that prevented "assertiveness training" to be a satisfactory solution in my case.
So -- thanks for the intention, but I'll support missbella's comment on this:
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it wise default is refraining from advice-giving or worse, prescription and instruction, unless specifically requested.
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Well, maybe, wisdom varies from person to person, but it does seem wise to me and to how I want to be interacted with.