Everyone is worthy of being happy and being loved. It's okay to not be "normal", you can be unique. And honestly, no one is really "normal", I mean, what does it mean anymore? I don't know you but I'm sure you deserve good things, whatever is happening, know that there is still hope- so hold onto it, it gets better if you try. And you should try to get better because you deserve a good life, you may or may not see it now, but believe me, it really does get better. Maybe you forgot how it feels like to be okay, which is why you'll need to remember how good it feels, starting by believing that it gets better, one step at a time.