eskielover, I recommend seeing a lawyer and talking about the different types of divorces. Depending on what type you choose, the involvement of the lawyer will be different. The more you and your husband can work out on your own, the less time and money will go to the lawyers. However, you need to know your rights, all the legalities, etc.
Also, look into getting a Certified Divorce Financial Planner. This is a financial person who specializes in divorce. We have a person like this working on our case. My husband and I share his fees. Here is the website for their national site, and you can look up people in your own area there.
https://www.institutedfa.com/
Your financial person will assign a value to all of your assets, including houses (if jointly owned), and put some in your column and some in his. (This includes both retirement assets as well as other investments.) If you decide on a 50/50 split (it is not required that it be 50/50 in my state), then you can make sure each person's column adds up to the same amount. If there are things that were purchased with your inheritance and you can document that this was your money alone, you don't have to include these in your column. Make sure you have any pre-nup agreements handy.
Did you know that your husband's retirement savings are considered yours too? These can be split in your divorce settlement. You, as a couple, saved for retirement jointly, using his plan at his job. You are entitled to some of these. Do not let this slip away. A spouse's retirement savings can be partly redistributed to the other spouse in a financial action called a QDRO. You need a professional to do this for you.
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he will be able to give me my 1/2 out of that & then take it over.....the scarry part is that he is so irresonsible...I know he will end up loosing it
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This shouldn't be a problem if you have a lawyer.
The lawyers in my area tend to work on an hourly rate. I gave my lawyer an initial retainer fee, and after that was used up, I went to paying her monthly bill.