I'd be a bit put off if I heard stated that's not cheating about a man in a hotel room with a woman not his wife on tv/a movie. Watching movies/tv together can be a means to spark discussion.
Regardless of whether it's self incriminating or not it would be disappointing(perhaps heartbreaking?) to discover not being on the same moral page. Of course you asked him to explain himself.
Of course it brought out past pains and disappointments.
I'm sorry that he without warning took off.
I don't feel that you are wrong here.
Do you have a marriage counselor?