I may have already posted something like this and if so, sorry! I am just thinking about how when my psychiatrist or therapist talks about my having bipolar, since I am not sure it fits completely, I feel like I am in denial. The thing is, I am okay with the diagnosis, it's just I am not sure, especially since people who have known me most of my life don't see it. When I tell those people, like my close friends, that I was diagnosed with bipolar, they tell me they do not think I have it and act really surprised. Even my close friend who supported me during my mixed episode on the SSRI, who also has bipolar, says he does not see it. So, talking to my friends makes me think I am just faking it or something. Basically I feel like I am both in denial and faking it at the same time kind of haha. The main reason I am concerned about it is that I do not have the best insight into my mental health, and I worry about getting the right treatment or picking up on my mood or other issues if I am not even certain what my diagnosis is. Oh well, I know this is not unusual to be unsure and go through a few diagnoses before figuring it out.

Tried to go swimming tonight but it was thundering. At least I made the effort and will go again soon. Having a friend to go with makes me more motivated. Went grocery shopping and made dinner so not a bad night.