I typed this up after I wrote the first one. Of course, somehow it didn't get posted. I need to add "deleted" to the other post.

This is how it went.

<font color="black"> T: I wanted to let you know that I am angry with you about what you did last week. I am angry that you did it here in such a way that it affected my staff and employees. How does that make you feel?</font>

(Last session he told me that he did not like what I did, which made me feel horrible. But that was fine.)

<font color="blue"> ME: It makes me feel like total %#@&#!. I didn't realize you were so protective of your staff. I apologize for being such an impulsive idiot.</font>

<font color="black"> T: I really didn't like the fact that you did it here at my place of business(or something to that affect). Don't do it again. </font>

<font color="blue"> ME: Where would you rather me do it? </font>

<font color="black"> T: I can't stop you from doing it if you want to do it. </font>

<font color="blue"> ME: What will happen if I do it here again?</font>

<font color="black"> T: (silence)</font>

<font color="blue">ME: You'll Terminate me, won't you? %#@&#! SAY IT!</font>

<font color="black">T: No, I'm not going to say that.</font>

<font color="blue">ME: I did it for several reasons. Yes, I wanted you to know how %#@&#! painful it is to tell someone you love them (not romantic love btw) and have them treat your emotions like they mean nothing. I wanted you to feel my pain.</font>

T: You mean helpless? I felt that.</font>

[b<font color="blue">]ME: Your helpless feeling is not there now, but mine still is. It never goes away. So you only got a glimpse. </font>

<font color="blue">ME: Another reason: I'm sick to death of constantly fighting. I did it because I was just plain flat out enraged and needed to escape. </font>

[b]<font color="blue">ME: I was really hurt when I asked if I could take the hippo and you said just make sure you bring it back. (I was in his office, had already taken pills and cut myself) Then, the next session you asked where it was. Did you think I was trying to gain power over you by stealing it or something? I really wanted it so I could hold it in the ER room.[b] </font>

[b]<font color="black">T: It was a contract we made. You asked if you could take it and I said just make sure you return it.[b]</font>

I think my affect showed anger the whole time. However, I was and am devastated. I haven't yet been able to cry. Where is the empathic T I used to have? Yes, I'm jealous that he protected his staff, I want him to protect me. I told him this and he seemed to find in humorous.

He asked me to sign a release form so he could talk to the other T about the situation and see if she thinks she should come in or not. I asked him directly if he was dumping me and he said no. Now, I could care less.

I have finally reached the point where I truly hate him. I emailed him and terminated. I told him to cancel all of my appointments. I said it is weird how he can be detached when it comes to good emotions, but it is okay to be angry at me. Umm, try looking behind the behaviors? %#@&#! him.

I ended on a funny note: I said, "You can use my cancelled sessions to have sessions with your staff to combat the PTSD that I caused to your staff."