I'm sorry you & your husband find yourselves in this difficult situation. Hopefully this is not as bad as it sounds. Couples often say things in the heat of argument they don't really mean. Your husband walking out was inappropriate. But it was also, I think, a very male way of handling a situation like this I'm afraid. Many men... perhaps most men... have a difficult time with emotions. If he hasn't already, I would suspect your hubby will come back once he's cooled off & had time to consider. If he hasn't come back yet, it may be because he's cooling his heels somewhere, so to speak, probably feeling just as terrible as you do & trying to figure out how to return home gracefully.

I'm certainly no expert with regard to communications within relationships. So I don't know if I have anything useful to offer in the way of advice. (Perhaps other members will have better advice to offer.) Under ideal circumstances one would like to imagine this is an excellent learning (& growing) opprtunity in the fine art of marital communications. And, hopefully, as time passes it can be. But right now viewing this as a learning opportunity is the least of your & your husband's concerns. There are lots of articles, in PC's archives, I could link you to that talk about the art of communications within relationships. And while they would certainly be useful for both you & your husband to read (perhaps together?) that's not for tonight.

My personal, non-professional thinking with regard to your immediate concern would be to simply wait until your husband comes home (if he has not already) & then let him take the lead in terms of how to proceed this evening. It would certainly be fine to say you're sorry, you love him, and perhaps tell him you're so glad he's home. But don't press him. Now's not the time to stand on principle. Yes he was wrong to walk out. And hopefully this is something the two of you can work on. But, tonight, what's important is for the two of you to calm down & get your relationship back on an even keel.

The one exception I would offer, with regard to this, is that if your hubby comes home & is still really steamed & threatening to leave for good, I think it makes sense to pull out all the stops, as the saying goes. Cry, tell him you love him & how much you don't want him to leave, etc., etc., etc. My wife & I have been married for 39 years. (Her accomplisment, not mine.) And I am embarrassed to say I have been where your husband is more than once. In these situations, my wife's version of "pull out all the stops" has prevented me from making serious mistakes. It should not be necessary, & it's not even right, that you should have to cry & plead for reconciliation. But right now, what's important is to do what needs to be done to calm the waters. Later on when tempers have cooled there will be time to sort through who did what & how things could have been handled differently. My best wishes to you both.