View Single Post
 
Old Feb 20, 2019, 11:45 PM
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw seesaw is offline
Human
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by octoberful View Post
There was somebody really good at doing just what you are asking about but who has unfortunately recently left the forum.

One pattern I noticed are these subtle followings of people rather than the idea or point. What I mean is if A says C, a group is supportive, but if be B says C, a group does not support. Or no matter what D says, people support them. The person, not the opinion. People can speculate on how that can play out, but I see group culture in ways that can be harmful.

I think Miss Bella has a good strategy, and I appreciate your posts, but have opposing thoughts on unwritten rules. I totally disagree with the concept that people can't make generalizations or talk about things outside their personal experience (that are not disrespectful of the person as against the rules).

It's just as much a valid opinion to say I think all fast food is toxic as it is to say fast food is toxic in my experience. I am personally a very conceptual and more abstract thinker, so I can't even imagine trying to participate in conversations without using labels and symbols to express how I conceptualize thoughts.

One pattern that I will not fall into is expressing myself in a way demanded by another person or group or to appease others. If everything was unique to a person, language wouldn't exist. Sure, some may the see the sky as blue. some may see the sky as periwinkle or turquoise or some may not even see the sky at all. But I think if someone wants to say the sky is blue, rather than in my experience the sky is blue, that is ok. We are not facilitating scientific studies here, so it's ok to speak casually and at ease as long as respectful. Of course it's disrespect to badger someone to agree that the sky is blue if they choose not too, but it's controlling ro demand soneone change their opinion of the color of the sky. I'd have a real problem if I took anything I read on a support forum as fact. These dynamics seem to be common ways in which boundaries manifest.

Group think, forced conformity, and changing behaviors to appease others are not things I respect and so therefore not participate in. I am also not a fan of peer pressure or social cliques, but thankfully have recently overcome any discomfort related to being myself 100 percent of the time.

Here today, by the way, I think you're a great conversationalist.
So well put. Thank you.
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...