My Support Forums - View Single Post - pre-teen (11 yr. old) with increasing insomnia

sarahsweets · Feb 21, 2019, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

What if the tables were turned? If he really, really felt strongly about giving X med to my daughter, and I felt equally strongly I didn't want her to take it, but he gave it to her anyway without my wanting him to? It goes both ways. He is such a good father, if only every kid could have a dad like him. He doesn't know tons about psych issues except what he's seen/heard through me and some training he got one time.

H is also not stupid. He knows about scientific evidence and how it can be slanted. He's got a Ph.D. in Physical Chemistry (from the Nobel Laureate Rick Smalley, deceased) and is a professor of Industrial Engineering. He has written and co-authored many publications (even some in the biomedicine field at a previous job). He has witnessed and heard about scientists intentionally slanting evidence for publications and/or government grants, and so have I (M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology, though my studies focused on bacteria with a thesis & publication dealing with bacterial cell wall protein transport, not medicine or the human body). And then less than a week ago, I actually did read a recent article from a reputable journal suggesting the evidence linking melatonin and sleep may not be as strong as initially thought.

H's problems with melatonin are: they don't know how much is the key amount to take for effectiveness, how often to take it (nightly or not?) and its long-term safety. His main concern is that supplements like melatonin are not regulated by the FDA. So these are the issues my husband has with giving melatonin to his child too, and they are all valid issues. They are not stupid concerns.

I can't just discount him as a parent.

I want to apologize.. I wasn't as sensitive to your plight and I was projecting my own stuff on to you so I am sorry. And I do not want to give the impression that I think meds are ever the only answer or that the decision should be easy- and I certainly never meant to imply that your husband is stupid or his feelings are stupid. As far as scientific evidence goes, I get that there are studies that may seem slanted and I can only encourage you and him to read things from peer reviewed sources like pub med. Those studies are as legit as they can be and are cited by other researchers and replicated in effective double blind studies that have been replicated although I am sure even there you will find studies that are slanted for and against medication. I guess I am passionate about it because I have three kids, and my 23 year old was the child who needed adhd meds and he was literally a danger to himself and began meds when he was 4- which wasn't common but approved by places like the FDA. And he chose to stop medication when he was 16 and is on wellbutrin now. My 19 year old is bipolar and had a few inpatients stays. When she ran away last year she got involved in drugs and alcohol and abruptly ceasing her meds (her choice) definitely played into it. My 15 year old was so depressed and had such bad insomnia that she needed inpatient treatment when she was 11. Talk about feeling like a failure as a parent... but they got her stable on meds. She still takes Lexapro and vistaril. All three of my kids have adhd but my son was the only one who could tolerate the meds they use to treat it. I tried with the other two but the side effects are not worth it. I just know in all three of their cases as different as they are: Those meds saved them. Especially with the insomnia. The lack of sleep is so detrimental to mental health and school functioning that it wasn't worth waiting to try them. I became desperate. I know you want what is best for your daughter and you sound like a good mom and he sounds like a lovely dad. I apologize if I was harsh or rude....