I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Cold Soul I understand your reasoning. I have thought about this as well. I think it's really noble of you. If you don't feel like being a parent and raising a child, that's perfectly ok. I understand it must be very painful for you. Sometime we have to make some tough decision. I think you're being really honest with yourself by deciding this. You're being very generous as well, putting aside your own feeling for what you feel like it'd be the greater good. Just remember that you can't know for sure whether you'll be a good parent or not. You may be a great parent and not even be aware of it. The only way to know for sure would be to have kids. It depends if you're willing to take the risk. But if you have already decided, that's ok. It is your own decision. You don't have to have kids if you don't want. I hope you'll be able to find peace and happiness for yourself. You're a wonderful, person. Stay strong, Cold Soul. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this