I think the fact that he is mean to you to the point of you crying sounds like it could be abuse. Commonly, abusers accuse their loved ones of abuse, when THEY are the abuser.

I agree with the above posters that his reactions are extreme. He is emotionally threatening that he will leave unless you change. Change the fact that you get upset when he is mean to you??????? This sounds like a form of emotional CONTROL over you.

I am smelling abuse on his part.