Quote:
Originally Posted by Doglover6335
Someone please help me know what to do...This argument was so stupid and I may have just lost my husband forever because of it.
We were watching a TV show, and in the show a male character was sleeping in a hotel bed with a woman that was not his wife and I mentioned something like “wow, I hate that every male character has to cheat”. Well, my husband replied with “thats not cheating” and I kind of freaked out a bit and asked him how that’s not cheating (I have been cheated on in the past by a man that’s not him so I have a little bit of past trauma when it comes to cheating) and kept questioning him about it to the point where I was getting so frustrated I started crying. Well, that was a last resort for him I guess; he said “I can’t believe you would insinuate that I would cheat” and walked out the door, saying he can’t deal with me anymore.
I’m so upset i want to die. I don’t know if he’s leaving me forever, and if I’ve ruined everything over a stupid tv show. If someone has any advice for what I could say or do to fix this, it’d be much appreciated. Also I’m so sorry if none of this made sense; I’m going crazy right now.
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First off, I'm sorry that you two had a blow out that ended up with him walking away. I know that fear that he won't come back is real but take a moment and breathe and think about the situation.
The first thing that comes to mind is that you have quickly jumped to the conclusion that his walking out the door was abandonment. That he won't return. Is there more to the argument that would imply that this is the case or was he walking away because he was very angry at feeling like he was being questioned about his integrity and faithfulness? I'll be honest, I get the feeling he is feeling, and I understand that you've had past trauma dealing with being cheated on but does it come out in your suspiciousness of him? Do you watch him, question him, and grill him because you worry he will cheat too or is already cheating? I wonder because from what you describe you say you were talking about the show and if it's accurate, he jumped to the conclusion you were questioning him, pretty quickly. Unless something in your description leaves out that you actually did question him.
In the case of you actually questioning him, I completely understand his reasoning for feeling like he did. Walking away still does not equate to walking out on a relationship though.
In the case he jumped to conclusions there are some things you have to ask yourself. Yes you've been cheated on, you've been hurt, betrayed and it's painful but does that come out in daily life how you handle your marriage and view your husband? Something to consider. I have a hard time believing that this one argument would lead to such extreme conclusions without having happened again or other things leading up to this moment.