Thank you lost89, perna, & sunrise,

I will definitely look into everything you all have spoken about. I have to go back to California to get everything moved.....including my horses......I will have to figure out where I have to file for the divorce from....whether California or KY......I can make a case for not being completely moved to KY yet.....& I can claim that I have been in KY for almost a year already....just not all moved in....kinda camping out....but whatever is the best for the situation, I am sure that I can make it work.

I had a lawyer several years ago....just ended up not going through with it & got all the money back.......my husband hates lawyers & doesn't want to get one....he wants mine to do all the work & I pay for it all.....typical for him. I think it's his way of resisting the divorce or something. There is just no way of telling where his mind is because I'm not sure he even has one right now.....like normal....he wants someone to do his thinking for him & do everything for him because he just can't figure out what to do.

I think you are right....he will loose everything that is his 1/2.....that is why I have suggested to the psychologist we have been going to that he push my husband into getting a trustee or conservator....or someone to handle all his money.....he is incapable of doing even the most simple thing these days.

I really only what some of the things cause I can't afford to move much to KY & most of everything that I am bring are things that have all come from inheritance or inheritance money....or money I got from a settlement.....the only thing left to really split is the house & his retirement....the few IRA's are almost = at this point...but I'm sure they will find loads of other things that actually have to be split that I don't even recognize as being there. It seems to get so complicated after 32 years of being married.......but there comes a point where one just has to get out & on with life.....so you just have to do what you have to do to make it work.

I appreciate the information about looking things up around the courthouse & finding out all the information before going to the lawyer......it really makes sense cause that's the only way or truely being in control of the situation....when you don't know something....that is usually when they find a way of taking advantage of the situation.

I appreciate all input....I would rather learn from others than make huge mistakes that I will regret later.

thank you,
Debbie