I had a lot of trouble when I was young, not being swallowed by my stepmother's strong personality. So, I sometimes feel like I'm being sucked in and will lose my identity if I get close to someone.

I find it interesting you use the word "dehumanize". If you are "things" though, maybe that means you can move them around like pieces on a chessboard, be in "control" better?

There's a book I like, The Homeward Bounders that is like that, being controlled by "them" who are stronger entities and only discovering the rules as you go along:

http://www.amazon.com/Homeward-Bound...dp/B000IOF4FE/