I am so anxious,angry and frustrated,I feel bad about myself.I feel trapped,life with mental illness is so hard.I have schizoaffective disorder which makes me severely depressed most days and I struggle with my moods frequently.Then I also have CPTSD which means I get triggered with emotional memories of abuse which hold me back and prevents me mixing and socialising and engaging with people.I struggle a lot in groups and sometimes I want to do course say like in art and I can attend one or two sessions but then have to withdraw from the course.CPTSD also causes me periods of dissocciation and I can forget where I am and what I am supposed to be doing.This all affects me and makes me low,I lose confidence and it affects my self esteem.I so want to deal with this and recover from mental illness,it stops me even attempting to achieve what I want to in life.I get angry at myself and I blame myself for being ill.I get a mixture of emotions that just paralyse me.