brian... i started si when i was about 9 years old... it was kind of by trial and error... i found that if i hurt myself by squeezing something sharp in my hand... i could refocus on that pain and not feel what was happening to me... and i started doing it more and more... it wasn't something i just woke up one morning and decided to do...but i did learn that i could go away by doing it... very much like an alcoholic finds that they can numb out with alcohol... lyn