I know you have anxiety and feel insecure about yourself. What you need to do is to stop listening to his BS -- you are feeding into his manipulation of you and you are believing his blame towards you, his accusations and cruel words. Look at it as just that -- accusations that are false. Crying because he is mean IS NOT ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR. Do NOT believe his words. Let them wash over you like water. DON'T FEED INTO IT. He is being manipulative.

Please do read those articles I sent earlier about abuse tactics. They will help. I can send them to you in a PM if you like.