(((((((Christina)))))

Changing the way you think and react has nothing to do with if you're a good person or not. I think that if it had to do with that, most people who are here would have no problems at all!

Changing your thinking patterns is SO so difficult. You get these schema's in your head (not you personally, but people in general), and once their formed it takes a lot of work and practice to try and expand them. Have you done CBT at all? If you haven't its definitely worth looking into, and if you have (or are currently doing it), just keep it up. It's not going to happen over night, and you just need to try and be patient and gentle with yourself.

And I know its hard... and lack of sleep combined with anxiety and depression... well thats one hell of a load. But it has nothing to do with the type of person you are... those things don't define you. Maybe right now they're a part of you... but I think one of the most important things to getting better (for lack of a better word), is accepting all the different parts of you. good and bad. Once you can accept that maybe you have some extra things to deal with, you can better address them, and you can work on changing those negative thinking patterns that trap a lot of us.

Sending you lots of