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Old Feb 22, 2019, 08:09 AM
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winter loneliness winter loneliness is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: barren wasteland
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saidso View Post
I checked that thread and found it just-not-very-interesting. However... since we are taking about misogyny I would appreciate some PC advice. If you were having an interesting and amicable discussion on chat with another woman which would closed down by a male moderator who wouldn't say why he objected to the discussion - but later complained in the forums about women being bossy...

I heard that mods on PC tend to be authoritarian (it was a man who told me this) and that there are a couple of misogynist male mods...

The woman who I was discussing with on chat backed off and left and I left after her.

I'm not making "an issue" of this. I'm simply asking how more experienced members of PC would deal so that I can be empowered. Personally at first I was upset by the allegation that male mods here are misogynistic - I assumed that there must be some personal antagonism involved - but then I was upset by being blindsided by a male who later described himself in the forums as hating bossy women.

On one hand I respect that there are tmembers who dedicate far more time to this site than I will ever do, and I think that they can moderate however they want and good luck to them. I won't dedicate more time because I need a different type of openness in discussion.

On the other hand I think that - women or men - who are mods need to own their stuff somehow.

Yes, there are back issues and personal antagonisms, and work in progress.

I haven't been back to chat. For me participating in chat was a way to share light-hearted stuff with others so that the deep problems could be laid to rest for an hour or two. It could also lead to genuine exchanges about complex issues. If I can't be allowed to exchange with another women because a male mod has an undisclosed issue with what we were discussing or how we were discussing it...

If the mods are supporting each other...

The problem for me is the undisclosed issue. If a mod told me "this is triggering" I'd be sympathetic.

I suppose this isn't a man vs women thing generally, yet how do you women deal with a man who has, for private reasons, huge resentment against women? If there is no acknowledgement that is driving the intervention?

It could equally have been the other way round: a female mod who resents men. How would you challenge that? Is there some gender-neutral way to say, "Hey, if you could just acknowledge what you are projecting... & etc"?

P.S. This is a genuine question to more experience women members here. Not about "winning", more about how do we challenge the complexity of projecting on the opposite gender. Do we challenge it? When the virulence is at its most passionate, do we... back off, or sympathise, or say "I'm not that kind-of woman"?
I have had complaints and have left this forum several times before. And yes, it was a male mod.
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