What really upsets me is I would have gone anywhere with him and done anything for him. And yet he thinks we were always missing something. But who knows what that is. Why did we always have to be compared to other couples? Maybe I'm less affectionate because it's foreign to me and less trusting because I'm just not accepted by people close to me.

I just don't understand why through his words and actions he seemed to intentionally make it more difficult for me to trust or attach again. Why say he'd never live with me because he wouldn't know how to get away from me? Now I'll always be too afraid to live with someone. I certainly will never ask or suggest to another person that we should live together, not like I'd have the opportunity anyway. Why say you would do something that's important to me when you had no intention of following through? Why say you wanted me to be happy but never support that with action? I stayed up all night doing editing for your dissertation because you couldn't and otherwise you were not going to make the deadline. I did everything I could do, but it's never enough.