I'm so sorry you have to go through all fo this, dannypk16 It seems like you're going through a lot right now. I know you've said you don't want to go to a therapist, but I feel like he/she could really help you. Please try to ask for help to someone. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a normal life just like everyone else. Even meds could help a lot. I'm so sorry. Try to hang on. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. You just need some help, that's all. Please don't give up. You're worth it. Your life is worth it. You're still in time to change things. Think about what is the best thing to do for yourself and others. I won't tell you what you have to do. The final decision is up to you. Just think about it. That's all I'm asking you. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. You're not alone here. We all care about you here. We all love you here. We won't judge you. You're a warrior. Keep fighting. Stay strong, dannypk16. Stay safe and take care of yourself. If things get bad, try to call an hotline or try to go to an hospital and ask for help. Hopefully they will be able to help you. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this