It's not about being reasonable. Being reasonable is your defence to your early childhood problems which themselves were not reasonable at all. Being reasonable will not bring the solution - you have to get out of that reasonable thing, into the realm of unreasonable and irrational (because that's what both feelings and young children are).

You say you want to get to the bottom of this topic, like it would be some kind of nuisance. However, as Anne brought out, this is probably THE topic (or at least one of those) and it's really impossible to tell how long it takes to get anywhere with it.

Because in order to get anywhere with it you have to go deeper yourself, let go of being reasonable. The T cannot manage this process really, he cannot make you do it. He an only try to provide an environment where it would be possible to do it. But it's your job to take these steps towards the bottom of it.

I'm truly sorry that it's so difficult - this kind of therapy is never warm and fuzzy (although I suppose that there are these kinds of moments too but they are not the aim). I often feel myself like a donkey who is chasing a carrot hanging before my nose that I will never catch and it makes me crazy. On other moments I realise that it's not that I never get a bite from that carrot and I also realise that even if I don't get a bite, I will move forward and that's why I am in therapy. If my T would feel sorry for me and give me the carrot because it feels good then I would not probably move a step because why should I?