I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Skulls&Crossbones It must be really hard for you. I'm so sorry. I agree with what all the others ahve already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some wonderful advice in this. I'd suggest to try to follow it if you can. It certainly takes a lot of time to grieve. Take all the time you need it. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. I'm sure many people can relate to what you wrote. Especially those here on PC. Just try to focus on yourself for now. Try to do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself well. That's all you can do for now. Please don't be so hard on yourself. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're wonderful just the way you are. It's not easy to find someone who will truly accept us for who we really are. That's why so many people are struggling with their relationship. But that doesn't mean it's impossible! It can be done. Please don't give up. I'm sure you will be able to find someone tha truly loves you and cares about you. Don't give up hope! Just focus on yourself for now. That's the best way to find someone who loves you. Try to be content with yourself first. That's the most important thing to do, I believe. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. I hope he/she will be able to help you. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. You could also learn new ways to grieve your loss. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. I hope you'll feel better soon. It won't be easy. It will take time. It won't be easy. But it can be done. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. You know I won't judge you. If it can help a bit... we're here for you. Feel free to vent here ar much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say. We all care about you here. We all love you here. You know we won't judge you here. You're a wonderful person just the way you are. Stay strong, Skulls&Crossbones. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You deserve to get better. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when i say that they can get better. Things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this