He is extremely abusive. It has taken me 3 years to finally come to terms with the fact that I am an abuse victim. I was constantly gaslighted, blamed, and tormented into thinking that I was the cause of the abuse that I was suffering. If I could just be "different" he wouldn't need to act the way he acted. The other day I listed out instances where he was abusive towards me....I got up to 42. In...three years. That is more than once a month, and some instances weren't even included in this.

He just got worse and worse over time, getting more and more bold and nasty in his abuse. The more I let go, the worse and more cold hearted his abuse became as time went on.

I read a lot into narcissism. I thought we were in the "discard" phase of narcissism several times in the last three years. He would leave me, because of my "abuse" (which was me just standing up for myself) or I would leave and I was "so cold hearted and just kept dumping him for no reason so I was lucky he was taking me back".

I am finally in the true discard. No phone calls, no texts, no hoovering. I believe he is now dating someone else. He completely did not talk to me on valentines day, and said he had made "other plans".

I do not suit his needs anymore. I am too much effort with a baby, I don't accept his raging insults anymore, so he's gone.


When we first started dating he constantly received calls from a woman he was dating but he broke up with due to her "issues". He said she use to get drunk and berate him, call him names, and she even came over and keyed his car once. I asked him why he didn't just block her number, or contact the police when she damaged his property. He said he felt bad for her, and he never abandoned his friends and wanted to help her has much as he could. Something just didn't sit right with me about the entire thing and I should have stood my ground with that. I became this woman. I was the one with "issues", I was the one with "problems", I became the replacement of this woman.

Scratching his car? You know, I could have seen myself doing something like that given the things he had done to me. Sexually assault me, degrade me, belittle me, stalk me. I could see myself just snapping one night and doing it.

Calling him? It's been me. I have called him repeatedly when he was ignoring me after I stood my ground.

Berating him? I have done it after he called me disgusting names.