I dont like sounding cocky in general so I tend to try to speak simply and slowly at first... but the longer Im left to talk the faster I go because I become less controlled by this idea that “you must not sound pretentious, there is no excuse for it besides showing off- and there is no reason to show off except if you are trying to prove something- WHICH YOU ARE NOT”.

Anyways. As I said the more I speak the less... inhibited I am by all those thoughts so... the more of a “pseudo expert” I sound. I dont like it really- generally I just want to blend in. I think Im scarred a bit because people tended to look at me funny for having esoteric interests so... Ive tried to blend in more.

But Im at my core- a very independent person who cant always keep my opinions in check. So. Really. You can get me going pretty quickly about all sorts of things if you know which buttons to press. Including- if you say something about my mental illness that I disagree with. For a short amount of time I can bite my tongue and not say anything- but after about 20 minutes or so... well. I let loose my opinion- even if it is wrong.

So. No I dont think its bad- but I also think its important to seek outside opinions- because no matter how much you think you knlw you probably are dealing with some level of bias just because it is very hard to objectively judge yourself when your frame of reference is just locked to your own experience. You need outside sources to help you with that.