Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 307
|
Feb 23, 2019 at 02:29 PM
Possible trigger:
at 1:36pm I released to some video of a lady nursing. This is Day 3 of my not privately communicating with or sexting women
I almost privately communicated with or sexted some woman but I didn't. I'm proud I was able to fight off the urge to do so.
I ate a lot of cookies, before I released. maybe excess sugar and calories have an effect on my sexuality. Releasing is vigorous physical activity that requires energy, and my body had more than enough energy. In fact, I don't usually release early in the morning, probably because my body hasn't had enough energy from my healthier meals.
Also I was probably stressed from my mom forcing me to house-sit for her. I feel stress has a great effect on my sexuality sometimes. On days that I tend to privately communicate with women, my mom has also been around or stressing me.
There are many reasons why I don't want to privately communicate with women. Firstly, I don't privately communicate with men, so why should I with women? Secondly, I only seem to want to privately communicate with women when I'm sexually excited. These two reasons can be seen as gender discrimination and sexual harassment. Thirdly, privacy is believed to worsen sexual health. Fourthly, privately communicting with women have been mostly negative social encounters where I'm either ignored or reprimanded.
some women discriminate against me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height. I remember in my last private conversation with a lady, she stopped talking with me after she found out I wasn't Indian or Indian american, but rather jamaican american. It's not healthy for me to put myself in situations where I'd be discriminated against.
Public communication is a lot better than private communication, though it means that I'd be scrutinized by both community and women. I've publicly communicated with women before, but they don't respond to me. And I'm in public communities where women don't communicate with me much. That could be for many reasons, including a mix of discrimination from some communities and women.
But that's alright. Then it's not my fault that women don't communicate with me much. I can't force women to communicate wth me, if they don't want to.
Maybe I should focus on people who are more likely to communicate with me. Maybe I don't need to publicly communicate with women specifically, but rather I just need to publicly communicate with men like me online.
|
|
Reply With Quote
|