I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, bubbles00 I agree with CrystalGirlx. You need to take care of yourself first before deciding to be in a relationship. I know it's hard. But that's the best thing to do both for yourself and him. Do you have an insurance? Perhaps you could try online therapy if it's cheaper for you. I also agree about calling a suicide hotline. Hopefully they'll be able to help you. Please don't give up. Remember that things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. If you still want to be with this person, you need to be honest and upfront with your condition. He needs to know that you're struggling with depression. After that, it will be his choice whether he wants to continue this relationship or not. I think that's the best thing to do for both of you. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. I'd suggest to try to seek help if you can. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family members that you can reach out? Anything that may help you feel better, even for a little bit. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Stay strong, bubbles00. Stay safe and take care of yourself. If things get bad, try to call an hotline or try go to an hospital and try to ask for help. Hopefully they will be able to help you. We're here fro you to listen to you if you need it. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this