Hi,

I'm in academia & I have a question about a situation with a co-worker. Before I get to that, I need to say a few things. I don't think therapy or psychology, or psychologist's, are much help. In fact, I think that the whole process oftentimes makes things worse. There is a history to that statement, one that I won't go into right now.

So, you may wonder why i'm posting if I don't believe in therapy. I believe that others can help with specific situations, especially other psychologists who might be able to provide insight into my current situation, which involves an LCSW wife of a colleague who likes to hang out in the office space in which I work. The job sucks, I've handled that part and am interviewing as often and as quickly as I can to get out of it. My boss lied to get me to take the job (like I said, I'm in academia w/no Ph.D. - I'm a researcher on grants), so having this woman around is like rubbing salt into a wound. And I'm stuck in the workspace I'm in until I get a new job - yes, that relates to the lie my boss told me.

To the question: like I said, she is an LCSW. She also is working for the same university, so it's completely copacetic that she is in the lab in which I work. There is, literally, nothing I can do to keep her out of it. So, she's fond of pushing her expertise onto others. She'll ask a provocative question to get an answer she can then apply her expertise to. I hate it. i want to tell her to shut the **** up, but I can't. I have to be welcoming to anyone that wants to be in the lab as it is public space.

Case in point, briefly: she said something that made me want to relate a story from my past. She then pronounced my story as an example of 'fear based education' and bad. I then told her that no one had yelled or threatened any of my classmates and that the 'fear' of which she spoke wasn't bad at all - it was useful & got the class to quiet down. Later, she decided to inform the world (as part of another conversation) that as an LCSW she is licensed to diagnose people.

Here's the deal, and it feeds into my criticism of psychology as a profession: what's wrong with you people?

"Fear based communication is bad" -statement 1.
"I am licensed and can diagnose people" with a nod toward me -statement 2.

What part of these two statements does this profession not see as hypocritical? How is saying "I can diagnose you" not fear based communication; fear of judgement by a professional in the workplace is not empowerment, as social justice would have one believe. it is a warning, and with the nod toward me a directed warning designed to cause hesitation.

I said nothing offensive & have never said anything close to offensive in my job. What the **** should I do about this woman who is very CLEARLY from my perspective overstepping her boundaries? When is society finally going to put this kind of passive aggressive, but very nearly aggressive, behavior by women in its place? I am angry about this.

What I want is very simply, a way to respond to her that will 1.)let her know that I don't appreciate her attempts to analyze the world & 2.) do it in a way that will make me feel better without being aggressive.