oh my goodness i hope that you come back to us. i'm going through pretty much, close enough to what you are going through right now.like so many times before.i've been on this site for a week now and it's helped my clouds seperate. yes it's all overwhelming but there is help and support out there. no shame to be who you are .and we are all friends here. supportive and understanding. my heart does go out to you and i hope that you can see that just others don't think that you are worth it, that only you can take care of yourself and that you have an impact on someone out there. so you are not useless. what you live through, you teach someone else whether you realize it yourself.you just empacted me so there you go.hope you feel better soon. a big hug for you and pat yourself on the back for the courage to post here, you're never alone. i suppose i can go ponder on that advice for myself too. SEE!!!!! when you reach out, you give out.