That's well-said Pookyl. I've made good progress on this in the past year or so. The condition isn't going away, I think what matters is sorting out and figuring out how you can live your best life in spite of it, today. Don't see it as an enemy, or something to be afraid of. Work around it. Focus on the things you CAN do, not Can't do. Don't dwell on things. When depression hits that's nearly impossible, but you CAN distract some of that and say "that's not true" or "that's faulty thinking and not reality based". Stuff like that. It doesn't 'fix' it, but relieves a little bit of stress. I've been having good success with that. I have some recurring paranoia type stuff, and I've found a way recently to clear that out when it happens. It doesn't go away, it doesn't change it, but it almost immediately drops a lot of tension out of my shoulders. I think the most important thing is how we respond to things, not what the things are. Take advantage of manic spectrum stuff. Remember that depression DOES clear up. Insulate yourself as best possible, whatever that may be. During stable times, master things like hygiene, nutrition, etc. When depression DOES come, it's way, way, way easier to still tend to ADLs when, say, you've showered 45 days in a row, and cooked most days for months. It still sucks, it still hurts, it still feels like torture sometimes, but those things can prevent it from getting worse or interferring with life as much. I still grieve a lot of things. It does get easier some with time. Career, loss of relationships, lack of self-care at times, financial recklessness, etc. I can't go back in time. I only have today, and if I'm reasonably well and stable, I can make progress. I just had a depressive stretch and this morning seem to be a bit hypo (which feels F'ing amazing), but am 100% sure that I mitigated some problems having had done so much behavioral work in recent months. I've been exercising for months daily. I've been showering daily for a couple months. So even when depression started a couple weeks ago, I kept doing those things, even if wasn't easy. I'm rambling. Point is, it's important to mourn things some, but not to get stuck in it. Don't forget to celebrate the good things in the present, and realize you can create new things daily. We are creators first and foremost. The past, and future, are largely irrelevant. Today is what matters. I'm fully aware I may go back down but probably not for at least a couple days. If depression does come back, who cares. I'll rest more out of exhaustion, but can still shower, eat when possible (I definitely have lost at least 5 pounds in past few weeks), and not wallor in it to best of my ability. Something I get a kick out of from the last few weeks is my cat is loving it. I've been asleep or on couch most of the time, after having had not slept/rested near enough for months generally speaking. Going back to September. Hang in there. Don't beat yourself up. I'm oversimplifying, but not. Take good care.