Relationships go up and down.....it's a fact of life. Of course when they are going well....we don't seem to have to put much effort into things. But, let something go kaflooey and all of a sudden the crap hits the fan and keeping the relationship going is hard work.

What I suggest is the following -

1. Seriously think about the day to day stressors in your lives. Is something going on that is bothering either of you but you are tiptoeing around them or not really working on the real issue at hand?

2. Are you getting bored with certain things in your life? Maybe finding something new to do together will bring back some spark, some excitement that you may be missing at the moment?

3. Are you both actively listening to what the other is saying without trying to put words in the others mouths? When something is said that tweaks you the wrong way, take a breath, take a moment to absorb what was said. Repeat back to each other what the other said and ask if you are understanding the statement correctly. That way, there is no room for misunderstanding

4. Realize that at times people just need to vent. It doesn't always mean that what they are venting about should be taken personally...more just a way to expend frustatration. Maybe you can help one another in verbalizing the frustrations so they are not feeling so harmful?

5. Get back to basics. Remember how wonderful your relationship felt in the beginning during the honeymoon stages? What special things did you do for one another during that time? Maybe you can bring back some of those "feel good" moments by putting in some extra effort to "woo" each other again

I hope you both find a way to work through this time. Know that what you are going through is normal within a relationship. Wishing you both well!


sabby