thanks so much sabby. everything you said sounds like common sense. i guess just when youre in the middle of things its easier said than done. we havent gotten to the point where it comes out in front of other people though yet. but then that almost spells even more trouble. cause i wont say anything or he wont say anything in front of people, then we sit there boiling about it and are 10 times more mad because we have been holding it in.

ugh. well we are getting ready to drive back to marion from dayton (came to visit over spring break) so we have a lovely 5.5 hour car drive to talk things out. ill bring up everything you said. thank you so much again.