Hi there, you know I have to fight my demons all the time too, and what helps me are multiple things, example, I meditate and do my best to dream a beautiful life, I use a rubber on my wrist and pul it every time I have a negative thought, in the emergency case I go to a cold shower and in the worse worse I go running like crazy until I get it out of my system. But also I have made good friends in this forum and they give comfort when I needed it the most, eternally grateful for that. It is HARD HARD HARD but I accept my reality and since I know life is short I rather just try to live it the best way I can. I hope you do to. Many hugs!!!