Yes, I know what you are describing (((Moxie))), I have experienced this challenge myself and I know how debilitating it can be. The important thing to slowly realize is that you have somehow been triggered, that this trigger is causing you to relive a past childhood experience and that even though you can feel so "unsafe" you are actually not that child in the now, but instead you are just feeling that way and it will pass. ALWAYS remember Moxie, that when you experience these impulses for suicide that they ALWAYS pass, just like the flashbacks. I cannot stress enough that PATIENCE with self is very important Moxie. Even in the article I posted explaining emotional flashbacks, that is what is discussed as being very important as you need help processing and healing and it's ok if you don't know what to do, but you ARE learning that you CAN wait these experiences with flashbacks out, they DO go away. With time these flashbacks will grow weaker, remember that, it's important ok?