I'm so sorry you're hurting so much I completely agree with what mote.of.soul has already wisely said better than I ever could. You're NOT a failure. From what you wrote, it seems like you're trying to do your best to cope with your MI. Please don't give up. You deserve to get better and to get help. You're worth it. You have so much more to give to this world. Don't throw it all away. I'm so sorry they weren't able to help you, but it's not your fault. I'd suggest to try to look for someone else, if you can. Hopefully they will be able to help you. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good like just like everyone else. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. You don't deserve to suffer like this. Remember that you're worth it. You're a wonderful person. Things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. Stay strong, mountainstream. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this