Quote:
Originally Posted by KD1980
When I was in my 20s, I worked in retail. I was suffering from undiagnosed complex PTSD, I was being abused at home, and I didn't like my job.
There were times when I was mean or rude to customers. Looking back at it now, I am ashamed and embarrassed by the way I treated people.
I am sort of haunted by the memories. I keep replaying it in my mind. I feel bad because that is not who I really am. I'm not a mean person or a jerk.
How can I forgive myself and move on?
I tried to logically approach this and tell myself that I reacted the way a person with undiagnosed complex PTSD would react. It doesn't work. I'm still embarrassed and ashamed.
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Hello KD1980,
I think this a really important post that you've created. I am sorry that you are struggling with guilt and shame.
Those are really heavy difficult emotions to deal with. I am wondering if you have mentioned this particular struggle with a trusted therapist? I imagine that he or she would have particular strategies to suggest.
As for me, I would recommend meditating on those feelings. Such as YouTube: 'guided meditation for guilt' or 'guided meditation for peace of mind' or 'guided meditation for embarrassment.' It's almost like you need to be able to step outside of the feelings for a while so they lessen over time.
What do you think?
I know you are not "mean" or a "jerk." You've been very kind to me. I wish you peace and wellness
