Thank you for the replies and advice, everyone! I’ve been in therapy on and off for a couple years. I’m planning on going back to EMDR therapy as soon as possible! It really helped me when I was in high school. I do plan to speak about this issue with a therapist, it’s the only thing that relieves me temporarily.

My husband is my best friend, and he is also asexual which means he’s not interested in sex. That’s fine with me, but I think even if he was interested in sex, I wouldn’t necessarily be interested in it with him? That sounds terrible, I know. I just don’t feel that sexual attraction towards him, but I feel the love and the connection and if I even think about my life without him, it’s so painful.

My online crush, as I’ve mentioned, has quit the game. He has not been online for almost a year. I’ll miss him on and off, but when I do miss him, it drives me nuts! He went by a made up username like most do, and I never got his real name (understandably), except someone who *thinks* they know his first name. Its probably for the best because I don’t know what my mind would do if I was able to talk to him.