I just feel like there are things going on simultaneously with different relationships, I can't make sense of any of it. I have major issues with my relationship with my husband. I don't feel comfortable venting and trash talking about him or talking about our private life. Therapy has triggered a lot of past memories both good and bad and I don't know what do to with them. Just the other day in the supermarket I smelled Hyacinths and thought of my mother. WTF, I don't need all this crap. My T is asking questions about my parents now. Which I find really difficult because their dead and can't defend themselves and because my ego states can't decide on whether to be angry at them or understanding of them. Then there is this whole therapeutic relationship thing going on. I feel all kinds of weird conflicting emotions about that and am trying to weed through those to get at how I really feel about this relationship and why. I just feel pulled in all directions and having a hard time.
I HATE PEOPLE IN GENERAL at this point.
Perna, I would love to go in and sit somewhere else in the office. I said before, that when I feel comfortable enough to sit somewhere else that will be a strong cue that I'm not needing therapy anymore. I've looked around for another seat where I would feel comfortable but there isn't any. If I sit at the other end of the couch I will be too close to my T for comfort. If I sit in the other chair, I be looking at the couch not facing my T. Sometimes I just want to sit on the floor in the remote corner of the room :-)