This is a great thread. I want to reply, but forgive me for doing it in pieces here and there. Too much to say...

It’s completely understandable where the root of your feelings comes from. It sounds like you are dealing with feeling your father felt you weren’t beautiful enough (for him?).

“ the women's liberation movements my relations to men have STILL been conditioned by whether I am cute enough and whether I can perform domestic services. “

Many downright unattractive people have romantic relationships. One can always hire help. It’s not about the domestic services, either.

I also have father issues from childhood as mine was MI and died young.

It’s that Electra stage of development where this all went awry perhaps?

As for traditional roles and romantic relationships, it was encouraged by my mother in me from as young as I remember. Plus, I took to the whole femme fatale thing really naturally. I really had crushes and romantic feelings for the boys; wanted to kiss and hug, cuddle with them. I loved being one of the boys, too, and would get into mischief with them.

By the time I was serious enough to be cooking and cleaning with a romantic partner, the cooking was merely a necessity. Who else was going to do it? I took the initiative. They never even attempted to cook. There was never even a discussion about it. It all just fell traditionally into place.

As for feeling all those things from men like being appreciated, I have had many moments where something wonderful like that has happened. They are scattered moments, randomly through life. I’ve had a whole lot of being unappreciated too.

It’s been no bed of roses. That’s why I’m here.

Not everybody is going to do everything others do in life. The important feeling to give ourselves is the satisfaction we pushed ourselves to be our best in whatever we want to do.