I totally understand the feeling of wanting to stop- but try to remind yourself of how long it will take, how much energy and pain it will take, if you get sick again and have to work your way back up to where you are again.

Every time I stop my medication it takes me months to even get close to back where I was before. But... I still want to stop.

So you really really just have to keep in mind that one impulsive decision now... is going to probably lead to long term struggle. Its not worth it.

Talking to someone might help? Do you have a therapist or another healthcare provider or anyone else- a friend- who you might be able to share these feelings with? Someone who knows your situation and can be on your team to keep you healthy- be counted on to be there for you in the moments where you find these yhoughts the most challenging? That might really be helpful. Having someone there to create a buffer between you and the idea of stopping your medication.

Anyways. At the end of the day the choice is yours- but just remember how bad things can get. Its a painful memory but it might be necessary to prevent... more painful situations in the future- from happening.

Best of luck to you. Im sorry you are having these feelings. They are hard to deal with, they really are