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MissCharlotte said:
I have a question, regarding the referral to ego states.

I didn't enter into the other thread you guys head going on this but I wonder if it is easier for you to call it by a clinical name (ego states) than to acknowledge that this is parts of yourself. Is it a way to not be intimate with one's self?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">My ego states don't actually push people away--I was joking with McKell, lol (you know, blame it on an ego state!). I allow my excecutive to take full responsibility for that problem! (And the pushing away is not really one of my main issues, anyway). But no, I don't call it a clinical name to try to avoid acknowledging parts of myself. Rather, just the opposite. I use "ego state" because that is the term my T uses, and it helps us communicate if we use the same terminology. The way he and I define ego states (and also in the literature) is that they are a part of my self. All my ego states make up me! I love them all, truly. For me, I have the excecutive, 2 little girls (one of whom we have done substantial healing on), a teen, and an adult male protector. Probably I have a lot more, but those are the most defined "personalities". When I discovered the male, I was kind of freaked, but am coming to terms with acknowledging him. He can be quick to anger when triggered by certain things, and I am watching closely for that. When I do go ballistic, which is highly unlike "me", I have a bit of humor now, thinking oh, there goes the male again. But also, I recognize, through my T's insistence, that I, the executive, have to stay in control. I can't excuse an angry moment by saying, "oh, that's just him again." I run the show here, and defined as he may be, I am in charge--the buck stops with me.

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Therapeutic relationship give me a term to use that is more clinical and less confusing to me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">McKell, to me "therapeutic relationship" isn't a clinical term or distancing (but I can see how some might use it that way), but rather a term that recognizes how special and unique the relationship is.

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WTF, I don't need all this crap.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">McKell, I can totally relate to that! I sometimes feel, here I am, trying to work on this really difficult life transition (divorce) which all of its attendant problems with finances, children, etc., and then my unconscious will throw something else up entirely and I need to try to deal with that too, or squish it down for a rainy day. I often feel like, "I don't need this right now, I'm too busy surviving!"

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when I feel comfortable enough to sit somewhere else that will be a strong cue that I'm not needing therapy anymore

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Are you sure? Maybe it would just indicate a strong comfort level with your T, and that's when the deep work can really begin.

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I HATE PEOPLE IN GENERAL at this point.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">((((McKell))))