Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,305
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Feb 26, 2019 at 03:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LabRat27
Eating disorder tw, including numbers
Possible trigger:
I've been dealing with health issues, a kidney infection and a lot of antibiotics and now GI issues. I've lost like ten pounds in the last month or two.
I was pretty much in the middle of the "healthy" weight range for my height before, now I'm towards the lower end but I'd still have to lose another 10lb before I reached an underweight BMI.
Earlier this week I told him about the struggle I was having with eating. That I'm nauseated and eating makes me feel worse, and about my doctor telling me that I need to be eating more, but that it's really hard for me to see calories as a good thing or to intentionally increase my caloric intake.
I told him about my doc repeatedly trying to stress that I needed to be getting 1200 as a bare minimum and saying, "though ideally I'd like to see you getting twice that, given how thin you are already."
We kind of continued this convo over to today. My interpretation of all of this was "I should try to make the healthy choice of making myself hit 1200." It didn't even occur to me to try to eat more than that, but when I talked about 1200 my T was like "well didn't your doc say you should be trying to get twice that?"
I eventually kind of convinced him that ideal would probably be more like 2000 and my doc had just been making an approximation.
I said I knew I could, but it felt wrong. Like looking at Starbucks drinks or whatever and realizing I could get 700 calories in one drink, but that I couldn't do it. He challenged me on the "couldn't" thing, and I acknowledged that it wasn't actually that I couldn't.
We talked about some of my feelings about food (having wants and needs, allowing myself to have things, etc) and body image.
He wants me to make the choice to do what's best for my health and what the doc said and stuff. Like to actually hit 2000 calories. To do what I would want anyone else to do. He joked about trying to make it "a therapeutic kick in the butt."
I couldn't promise I'd try for 2000. It's just really hard to convince myself to do it especially when it isn't necessary.
An hour after my session (once he finished his last session, I'm assuming) he texted me "2,000 cal/day you can do this. You deserve to take care of yourself"
It was basically what he'd said at the end of the session
But he's never texted me about anything other than scheduling/insurance/practical matters before.
I don't really understand why now, why this?
I haven't replied, but I have read receipts on, so he'll know that I opened it if he checks. Idk if I'm supposed to reply? I think I'm going to not reply, because really any response or lack thereof would feel disappointing.
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thsts very sweet and shows he cares about you and your health
reply only if you want! I don't think there's any shoulds involved
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