I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, sadeveiledbride please don't give up. It must be very hard for you. I'm so sorry. You're not alone here. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. Remember that your life is worth it. You're a wonderful person. I'd suggest to talk to your therapist about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he/she will be able to help. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Please remember that. Stay strong, sadveiledbride. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this